I have never ever thought being a mother is so difficult.
For the first 6 months, I fought hard every single day/night for breastmilk. From a pathetic 2oz for the first months to double. In my mind, I thought bm would be the best for my baby for the first 6 months. I work hard and finally i am getting it. A lot of mothers unfortunately did not succeed. However, what makes me heartbreak is my baby is rejecting bm. From 150-120ml to 80-100ml. I tried my best in every single feeding so that he can absorb as much bm as possible.
Little did I know that I have put him into a risk of under growth. I didn’t realise that my boy is below 25th percentile until the doc told me about that and the doc gave me a serious lessons. I feel so horrible being a mother. I always wanted my baby to be chubby but my bm came too late. And now I have no choice but to put my 6 months hardwork to stop. Stop pumping. Focus on solid for my baby. I feel so horrible, emotional. A lot to catch up for my boy.
I once thought I can relax once my boy reach 6 months. Life is not always like that. My another challenge starts now.